Telling the tag writers I want them to fuck me.
Pending . . .
most LOLed PoorDecisions
lols
934
Handles of Captain's
Drinking way to much and then deciding its a good idea to go chill at the airport.
Waking up on the plane to Canada.
886
Babbies Formed
Telling a really creepy girl stalking me that I am gay to get her off my back.
Getting her creepier and crazier gay brother stalking me.
594
Chairman LMAOs
Broke up with a girl because I thought she wasnt hot enough for me.
She was on the cover of several magazines lately. My current GF has developed a weight problem. I'm a retard.
583
Texts That Should Not Have Been Sent
Enjoying my newfound chili-eating skills due to the numbing effects of alcohol.
Sitting on the can the next morning, finally understanding the song "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash.
516
Hot Dogs Down the Hallway
Four cups of wine, two pitchers at the bar, then five shots back at a girl's house.
Waking up with a triple oh-no. Oh no, where am I? Oh no, I slept with my best friend's girlfriend's stepsister. Oh no, ...I peed all over her bed.
487
Shattered Dreams
Attempted to match drinks with a gay former friend without realizing three crucial points: 1) double-vodka and red bull looks and tastes exactly like straight-up red bull. 2) He was ordering the drinks. 3) He had a crush on me.
Woke up naked in his bed with no recollection of the previous night beyond passing out in the taxi. I never asked what happened, and I believe that's for the best.
411
BONUSE RESOLTS
Decided to masturbate after handling a messy bottle of No-Chew when putting my horse grooming kit away.
Ever been maced in the vagina? It isn't pleasant.
382
Miles per ROFL
Going with my so-called friend and two hotties to his "dad's" yacht to get drunk and fuck. While there remembering that his dad died in a car accident... and even better yet, that he never owned a yacht.
Interruption in really hot sex with this ultra-fine female and her friend to the barrel of a 12 gauge shotgun and an angry yacht owner, coincidentally, upon exiting the yacht I dove in the water and swam to escape but I didn't make it far... in my drunken state, I swam the wrong way and ended up looking at his shotgun again. Tired from swimming I gave up and puked. I got slapped with a $15000 bill for damages, 30 days in jail, 200 hours of community service and my picture in the local paper.
