PoorDecisions tagged as

that's awesome

24

Unnecessary MySQL Queries

 
Drinking 4 glasses, completely full to the brim, of dark alcohol in the limo on the way to the club for a friend's birthday. Was so positive it was rum, and rum is "weak".
Turned out to be hard whiskey. Spent the second half of the night in a bathroom stall hugging the toilet. Had to be escorted out the club in a wheelchair. I also randomly received a picture of myself holding the toilet the next day from my so called friend. Touche, rum.

51

Broken Promises

 
When I was a waiter I didn't practice opening a bottle of champagne tableside before doing it for the first time, which happened to be a romantic dinner for a beautiful young (newlywed?) couple.
I had the napkin too tight over the cork and when I popped the cork, the champagne squirted through the napkin in a long stream in the face of the lady. I remember seeing it in slo-mo and tried to correct the angle by moving the napkin. Worse result: I squirted (champagne) all over her boobs and front of her dinner dress. Positive: in the candlelight she looked radiant and glistening with all the beads of champagne on her skin like that. Negative: I think the guy saw me noticing how radiant. Positive: They were super understanding and still gave me a great tip. And I bet they get as much mileage from the story as I do.

44

Warnings from Your Mother About Exactly This Kind of Thing

 
Read hundreds of PoorDecisions about horrible drinking experiences
Decide to throw a party because I haven't gotten hammered in a while

26

Confused Stares

 
Drank a half of a bottle of Southern Comfort
Me kissing every girl i could find and i am completely straight and my boyfriendd was sitting righhtt theree watchingg.

-62

Miles per ROFL

 
give my two year old cat cat nip
when i came back there was sperm all over the place and my other feamle cat pregnet and dead, with a knife next to her, with blood coming out her vagina, and the male cat in the corner sniffing cat nip

119

Claps from the LOLrus

 
GF asked me to give her a pearl necklace
Me working my ass off to buy her one only to realize all she wanted was for me to cum on her neck.



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