PoorDecisions tagged as

that's awesome


Unnecessary MySQL Queries

Drinking 4 glasses, completely full to the brim, of dark alcohol in the limo on the way to the club for a friend's birthday. Was so positive it was rum, and rum is "weak".
Turned out to be hard whiskey. Spent the second half of the night in a bathroom stall hugging the toilet. Had to be escorted out the club in a wheelchair. I also randomly received a picture of myself holding the toilet the next day from my so called friend. Touche, rum.


Broken Promises

When I was a waiter I didn't practice opening a bottle of champagne tableside before doing it for the first time, which happened to be a romantic dinner for a beautiful young (newlywed?) couple.
I had the napkin too tight over the cork and when I popped the cork, the champagne squirted through the napkin in a long stream in the face of the lady. I remember seeing it in slo-mo and tried to correct the angle by moving the napkin. Worse result: I squirted (champagne) all over her boobs and front of her dinner dress. Positive: in the candlelight she looked radiant and glistening with all the beads of champagne on her skin like that. Negative: I think the guy saw me noticing how radiant. Positive: They were super understanding and still gave me a great tip. And I bet they get as much mileage from the story as I do.


Warnings from Your Mother About Exactly This Kind of Thing

Read hundreds of PoorDecisions about horrible drinking experiences
Decide to throw a party because I haven't gotten hammered in a while


Confused Stares

Drank a half of a bottle of Southern Comfort
Me kissing every girl i could find and i am completely straight and my boyfriendd was sitting righhtt theree watchingg.


Miles per ROFL

give my two year old cat cat nip
when i came back there was sperm all over the place and my other feamle cat pregnet and dead, with a knife next to her, with blood coming out her vagina, and the male cat in the corner sniffing cat nip


Claps from the LOLrus

GF asked me to give her a pearl necklace
Me working my ass off to buy her one only to realize all she wanted was for me to cum on her neck.

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