PoorDecisions tagged as

doin' it right


HA Granules

was broke and had a long term girlfriend.
6 year girlfriend left me for some dumbass because i had no money BOUNS RESULT about 3 months later i found peices of gold in my back yard totaling in 1.2 million. she wants me back :) i gratiously said fuck you and now live at home with a great gf and 1 child on the way.


Broken Condoms

Got wasted at my place with some mates to celebrate end of uni exams. When I awoke the next morning I discovered that the blinds to the window at the front of my house that overlooked the main road and been mysteriously removed. It was only when a motorcycle cop stopped as they drove by did I realise that I was naked.
Decided "Fuck it, if I'm up for public indecency may as well make it worthwhile". As the cop walked up to the house I started flexing. When I answered the front door completely naked still the cop had removed HER helmet. Flirted shamelessly whilst in the buff with her and eventually she stopped trying to give me a ticket and started flirting back. An hour later I had made that pig squeal. Sargent Rachael comes by every Saturday afternoon now. Still haven't worked up the courage to tell her that I think she gave me herpes.


LMAOs Per Square Inch

To gatecrash an open-bar wedding after drinking at a friend's.
Becoming involved in conga lines, discussing how I met the couple with their parents drunkenly and it working and falling sideways off the bus seat on the way home.


Uncomfortable Explanations Needed

Hundo proof captains til 4am.
Walking home, getting lost until 6am and I was inexplicably in Fenway Park.


LOLs per Million

Went to Tijuana to party.
It has been two weeks and I am in a town called Chihuahua, just now finding directions back to Pacific beach.


LMAOs Per Square Inch

Partying hard at a bar for a friends welcome home party when he moved back from Tennessee.
Multiple beers and shots consumed. Two pitchers of vodka and grapefruit juice, and two more pitchers of long island iced tea. Carried out of the bar before I puked, tried to stand up, fell into a pop machine, broke the plastic side panel on it, puked more, dragged to friends car and spent the 20 minute ride home head out the window. No hang over though.


Milligrams of ROFLnol

Slapping that bag of wine.
Most of the wine went on my shirt because it was 2010 and I was smashed.


Prokchop Sandwiches

Not doing any of my papers this semester.
Having to do all my papers from this semester in two days. Hooray for no sleep.


Shotgun Weddings

Drinking an untold amount of vodka and redbull.
Telling every woman that would listen (or not) that they need some "strong dick"


LOLrus Bukkits

Continuing to drink after throwing up once.
Hole in wall, hole in chair, hole in dignity, puke everywhere.

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