PoorDecisions tagged as

WINNING

25

Glasses of Whiskey

 
Giving the OK to being drugged prior to oral surgery and being advised it had the same effects as being very drunk.
No recollection of trying to pick up both nurses while drugged. Nurses now giggle everytime I go in for a regular dentist appointment.

16

Pairs of LOLerskates

 
"Are you drunk" "I was thinking drunk was implied."
Not a good thing to correct an officer on as an excuse for peeing out the passenger window of a moving car. He did accept it was a difficult trick and congratulated me as he gave me the ticket, though.

51

Dollars Spent on Cab Rides Back From the Wrong State

 
When I was a waiter I didn't practice opening a bottle of champagne tableside before doing it for the first time, which happened to be a romantic dinner for a beautiful young (newlywed?) couple.
I had the napkin too tight over the cork and when I popped the cork, the champagne squirted through the napkin in a long stream in the face of the lady. I remember seeing it in slo-mo and tried to correct the angle by moving the napkin. Worse result: I squirted (champagne) all over her boobs and front of her dinner dress. Positive: in the candlelight she looked radiant and glistening with all the beads of champagne on her skin like that. Negative: I think the guy saw me noticing how radiant. Positive: They were super understanding and still gave me a great tip. And I bet they get as much mileage from the story as I do.

44

Grammar and Spelling Corrections

 
Read hundreds of PoorDecisions about horrible drinking experiences
Decide to throw a party because I haven't gotten hammered in a while

59

Interrupted Masturbation Sessions

 
Smoking 8oz balls of crack, paying porn stars for sex, hospitialized,lost my hit tv show, tiger blood now boils in my veins.
DUH, WINNING!



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