Tag: 'FUCK YEAH' - PoorDecisions.net

16

Handles of Captain's

"Are you drunk" "I was thinking drunk was implied."

Not a good thing to correct an officer on as an excuse for peeing out the passenger window of a moving car. He did accept it was a difficult trick and congratulated me as he gave me the ticket, though.

lols

booze

WINNING

I was thinking drunk was implied

that's awesome.

cool cop

the law

-3

Social Security Dollars That Will Be There When You Retire

twisting the fuses of 100+ fire crackers and little dynamites together

burnt pants, multiple minor burns, pissed off parents

i have the feeling you should never be allowed near fireworks

24

Chairman LMAOs

Drinking 4 glasses, completely full to the brim, of dark alcohol in the limo on the way to the club for a friend's birthday. Was so positive it was rum, and rum is "weak".

Turned out to be hard whiskey. Spent the second half of the night in a bathroom stall hugging the toilet. Had to be escorted out the club in a wheelchair. I also randomly received a picture of myself holding the toilet the next day from my so called friend. Touche, rum.

it wasn't rum dude

15

Drug Cartels Now Searching for the Author of This Post

getting high with my dog

lost my dog

i think this is a how i met your mother reference

lols

drugs

-12

People Who Will Never Invite You Anywhere Ever Again

dkurf: I EAT PAJAMAS

WHATS WRONG WITH ME

i actually lol'ed reading this

what is this i don't even

wtf

whaaaaaaat

that is weird

67

Accidental Sex Change Operations

my boyfriend kept asking me to give him road head after a month if him asking everytime we got into the car i finally did it we were on the 2 lane highway and it was almost dark i he was just about to cum wen i herd a horn blow

my mom was on her way tot the same walmart and was in the lane next to us he looked over and said oh shit its ur mom.....

doin' it with mouth while driving

THATS FUCKING DANGEROUS

FUCK YEAH

lols

dumbass

-6

Life Goals Accomplished

redbull, vodka, and acid.

i now live in alaska.

0% of this is true

lolwut

what is this i don't even

FUCK YEAH

man i wish this was true

booze

51

Miles of LOLercoaster

When I was a waiter I didn't practice opening a bottle of champagne tableside before doing it for the first time, which happened to be a romantic dinner for a beautiful young (newlywed?) couple.

I had the napkin too tight over the cork and when I popped the cork, the champagne squirted through the napkin in a long stream in the face of the lady. I remember seeing it in slo-mo and tried to correct the angle by moving the napkin. Worse result: I squirted (champagne) all over her boobs and front of her dinner dress. Positive: in the candlelight she looked radiant and glistening with all the beads of champagne on her skin like that. Negative: I think the guy saw me noticing how radiant. Positive: They were super understanding and still gave me a great tip. And I bet they get as much mileage from the story as I do.

SO MANY POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES

I squirted all over her boobs

WINNING

12

Interrupted Masturbation Sessions

Started the night by lining 20 shots of Aftershock up along the bar and racing my best mate to the middle.

Having a fightclub style 'friendly' fight where he actually broke my arm. When trying to get back via an assumed shortcut found that we were on the other side of the river to the path, so tried climbing over peoples fences, through their gardens, to head in the right direction. After 4 or 5 fences one handed, I was in too much pain (didn't know why at the time) despite the booze and couldn't go forwards or back.

WOW

FUCK YEAH

is your name robert paulson

ow

you're an idiot