PoorDecisions tagged as

birthdaying pretty hard


Miles per ROFL

22 birthday drinks
falling face first on the concrete outside my bffs house not knowing how i got there. with piss streaming out of my brand new thigh high boots.. with my new boyfriend standing over me in disgust.


Charges of First-Degree HAHA

Celebrating 21st birthday with two cousins
Waking up in my neighbors front yard naked with a huge penis drawn on my stomach and hands cuffed behind my back with throw up all over me.


Texts That Should Not Have Been Sent

Hating my birthday, so going to my friend's house for my birthday dance with death.
Drinking too much doing tons and tons of drugs while in the woods BONUSE RESULT: screaming on the top of a big rock that was hanging over the river because I felt like I was on that rock from The Lion King, crying, throwing up while trying to crawl my way out of the woods to my friends house, waking up in a tire swing with my friend in the fetal position saying he's never gonna celebrate my birthday with me again.


People Who Will Never Invite You Anywhere Ever Again

Celebrating turning 23, my first single birthday in 3 years, with 4 pitchers of beer and 11 tequila-and-hot-sauce shots on an empty stomach.
Throwing up on an ATM, inside of a cab, the dormitory stairs, my friend's bed, the women's washroom, finally becoming aware of myself around 6 a.m. and dry heaving in random campus bathrooms for the next seven hours.


Charges of First-Degree HAHA

Deciding to spend my 20th birthday drinking far too much with my best friend.
Getting fucked by my best friend, learning I enjoyed it. Turned gay. Getting disowned by my family and moving in with my best friend. Also, Butt Hurts.


Roads of Awesome. AWESOMES.

Me and my friends birthday's are one day apart so we decided to celebrate by going to the bar and buying each other shots.
Blacking out somewhere between bar 2 and 3. Refusing rides home from sober people. Crawling through the bushes on the way home with pants undone. Police picking me up and driving me back home to my extremely pissed off roommates. Woke up to about 15 messages asking if I needed a ride home from jail.


Handles of Captain's

Throwing my birthday party fuelled on goon sacks alone.
3rd degree burns on my leg after falling in to a fire, a friends dad pissed off at me for vomiting ON HIM, and a cold because a passed out in a duck pond.


Unnecessary MySQL Queries

Celebrating my 22 birthday at a bar, bought one drink that night.
Had 2 drinks in my hand non stop whole night, constantly having them bought, whole bar knowing me by end of night, being serenaded by band for birthday, hit on by gay guy, ended up at home with my best friends sisters bra on me (I'm a guy) with a puddle of vomit surrounding me and a whole pineapple in my arms. Zero recollection of night.


Glasses of Whiskey

18th Birthday. Drinking mystery alcohol (Tastes like grass?) shot for shot with friend.
My Face to my Cake style (Candles still lit). Girlfriend helped clean me with a napkin.


Babbies Formed

First time drinking at a party and drank a bit too much of straight Vodka.
Waking up thinking I remembered everything and learning 3 months later that I had disappeared in a corn field for an hour, without my shoes. Finally found out why my feet were cut and bruised.

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